When I was a child, I imagined what I wanted and then I knew I could (and would create it). I never questioned or doubted my ability to have what I want. I was very single minded in my approach to what mattered to me.
I achieved all of my goals, seemingly effortlessly, although when I think back, I worked really hard, it just felt effortless and I didn’t apply an adult definition of ‘work’ to what I was doing…
I was exploring the world, enjoying my capabilities, fueling my life force energy through accomplishment and my sense of self worth was a natural extension of this.
Deciding on my goals and bringing them to fruition back then felt like play. I naturally learned, grew and pursued my development, without censoring my amount of effort or expecting quick outcomes as we are taught to do now.
I didn’t try to hurry, short cut and I didn’t worry about whether I would achieve what I wanted to or not. I didn’t bring time or age into it and panic about where things were at. I hadn’t learned to only put in effort if I’d get the outcome and to constantly weigh up whether this picture was heading in the right direction.
I do remember re-evaluating my progress, but this always felt like a resolve, reaffirmation and recommitment to what I knew inside more than anything else.
I totally trusted life and it didn’t really enter my awareness that I could fail. I knew someone else could do better than me, but that inspired me to push harder, do more and be better.
One by one, my completed goals fell in my lap. I’ve been thinking about this lately and retrospectively tuning in through meditation and remembering the feelings of what I used to do, exactly how that worked.
Here are some insights from my child and teen self, which I’ve found incredibly helpful. Perhaps you will as well…
1.LIVING FROM EXCITEMENT
When we are living from excitement, we don’t question, we know what we are creating.
It’s just our path, we don’t doubt it. Knowing is instantaneous, so we don’t second guess, over analyze or question it either.
We know and we do what feels right in the accomplishing of that. Because we feel so sure, our belief ensures our effort is focused productive and in the zone.
2. NO WORRY OR ATTACHMENT TO OUTCOME
I never worried about my goals as a kid, I merely got up each day and did what it took to achieve them.
I hadn’t failed, so I hadn’t learned that adult thing of “I’ll effort IF it gets me where I want to go and if it doesn’t I won’t”.
This is such an incredible insight because by the time I got to 40 and had a string of trauma, lack, failures, hardships and dis-satisfaction behind me, I questioned every little exertion I made.
I was protective of my energy, frightened of illness, failure, looking stupid, being judged, not being worthy, being seen, not having certainty and not knowing with clarity the whole path ahead…Life felt hard and I almost had a sense that things should come easily to compensate for all of that.
I was going to have to work backwards un-creating my conditioning, removing my trauma and pain and see what was left of me beneath that and what adult Rose and little Rose, wanted to do, be and have from there onwards.
Now that I’ve healed much and done this work, I’m able to trust my choices and decisions, be my best me, following my inner guidance and let go of how things show up or what the final outcome is. This feels amazing and peaceful, generative and aligned.
3. RECEIVING AND SEEING THE VALUE IN WHAT I’M DOING
When younger, I intuitively trusted myself to know what to do and that it was leading somewhere good. There was no wrong way.
As an adult who was hurting, lost and struggling, it took me a long time to recover and really accept the worth and value in me being myself.
Once I started to heal and my path forward became clearer, what was right for me, felt so effortless, I devalued it, thinking that others found it easy too. Because what I’d experienced was so painful at the time, I didn’t see how unique my take on things, my experience and contribution was – at first.
I needed to learn to receive again and reframe all the wonderful aspects of what I’d gained instead of focusing on what I felt/feared I’d lost.
I used to panic that others were further ahead of me on the path, but now I know everything is as it should be, as it is needed to be for me to be driven, healed, whole and clear about my way forwards.
I am so grateful now for being me, that there is no fear and lack, just knowing and connection.
4. I INNATELY TRUSTED MYSELF AND ALL OF LIFE
Little me knew what she knew and trusted that.
Before I had discovered the hardships created by disconnection from oneself, not having the skills I needed to handle what life would throw at me and carrying subsequent trauma, I trusted my own judgment in all matters.
Once again, I now TRUST what I am doing, that I’m guided to what I am choosing for a reason and I KNOW it feels incredible when I have breakthroughs with clients, in my marketing and my writing and business as a whole.
If that changes at some stage, I will know and take everything I’ve gained from that with me. For now, my cup is full and overflowing. I have big picture goals and I just show up as my best self, dealing with what is in front of me to develop mastery and get to all of that.
I don’t need to control my results, any outcomes or manifestations. The Universe is far wiser than me with filling in the next little bit of the puzzle, opportunity or breakthrough and in many ways I feel as joyful as a child again! I now have unlimited possibilities and the skills knowledge that I lacked the first time around with a bit of wisdom thrown in
5. I PURSUED GOALS CONGRUENT WITH WHO I AM
As kids we know what we want without question, as adults, overwhelm and external influences abound and we we can lose touch with our inner guidance.
As an adult who lost her way for a while, I didn’t know my preferences any more or what mattered to me.
I was influenced by those around me, had poor boundaries and kept picking goals that weren’t right for me, until I picked healing as a goal. I found my true soul calling for this life time.
For a while, I made everything about my business and my contribution and forgot about receiving.
Now, I’m much further along the healing path, I’ve revisited what little Rose knew she wanted and it turns out that those things are closely aligned now. It’s really true that as adults we often have to peel back the layers and clear who we are not, to rediscover who we were all along.
6. LETTING THINGS SHOW UP HOW THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO
As children we accept and allow naturally and feel aligned with this – as fear based adults, we do control instead
As adults, we can create reaction and resistance to anything. As I’ve healed I thought I knew what each next step would be (control), but as I’ve surpassed that stage, I’ve learned to let go and focus on being my best me instead. What shows up naturally will guide my next steps.
Along the way, I figured out where that where I have zero resistance, I’ve healed, learned something new or rediscovered something I’d made unimportant that actually is totally aligned with me.
If you are on a big healing journey or are feeling lost or stuck with getting to what really matters to you, remember you are doing fantastically well.
If you are very confused about what you want for the rest of your life or your goals aren’t coming easily, even though you are clear of the past, that is normal and a couple of things may be happening. Your aims may be not aligned with you, or you may not yet have reconnected with your true essence enough to have clarity.
I trust that this article has offered some insight and provoked some thought processes that are valuable to you.