Sometimes our purpose is clear in childhood and our early experience give us enormous clarity and our sense of direction is always tangible. Or, contrastingly, we can be adults and feel like we have a blank there and despite our best efforts, we can feel quite frustrated at our sense of not knowing.
This human search for fulfilment is inherent in all of us. I searched for many years to find out who I was supposed to be, where I belonged, who with and what I was supposed to do with my talents. Back then most things I tried weren’t related to my purpose and this really would upset and frustrate me at the time.
It almost seemed I was applying an ineffective ‘elimination’ strategy of trying one thing at a time that didn’t fit. I’d then feel flat/disinterested in whatever I embarked on and often felt unable to complete/finish it. As it would turn out, this was partly due to trauma I was carrying.
I knew I’d become disconnected from my core essence.
What was absolutely brilliant about this in retrospect, is that all the things I did, experiences I had, relationships, jobs and courses I embarked on that felt wrong, would eventually contribute to my healing. I was able to later extract the wisdom from them, in a way that would add to and enhance the work that is my soul purpose.
I was never off my path even when I felt I was, I was just undertaking the apprenticeship or training I would later call on, when my blocks were no longer there.
1. You are never off your path, life just isn’t what you were expecting
‘Dead ends’ are life showing you what’s not for you and no matter how annoying and frustrating, expensive and time wasting that seems, it is getting you closer to your ultimate purpose.
For some getting to a purposeful place can seem like trial and error or a gradual awakening as you find insight where you least expected to encounter it.
Learning to follow your inner guidance system is key to being able to recognize what is for you. Trust your instincts absolutely. You are infinitely wise and your soul knows exactly what’s it’s doing. We just need to listen.
Sometimes we also need to surrender. There is a fine art to realizing when that the door that slammed shut in our face is redirecting us and when to look for another way around it. Both can be valid depending on the timing and circumstance.
TIP: Disappointment is an chance to refine our discernment (about what we thought we wanted), it allows us to learn the art of ‘throwing open doors’ without attachment to outcome, but with our highest good in mind instead. It invites us to co-create with our soul instead of efforting on the basis of logic or forcing outcomes we think will benefit us.
2. No experience is wasted and there is no hurry
You may have a winding path and that is sometimes a blessing.
Your success will be determined by your level of courage, NOT by how easily your pupose was to connect with. If there are many roadblocks, there is much wisdom you are supposed to acquire.
Every experience you have will ultimately benefit you, each person you meet a contribution, and new thing you try can unlock something within. If you allow it to.
TIP: Be patient, you may have a deadline in mind, but your soul doesn’t.
We live in an instant gratification society and it’s easy to try to have unreasonable expectations of ourselves. Think of a lump of coal being transformed into a diamond, it’s not a 10 second job!
3. If it feels like you are being broken open, you probably are
The intense emotional pain my younger me encountered, forced me to stop and seek answers I would have never otherwise considered. Finding healing forced me to not only embrace my spiritual reality as part of the solution, but to address and change many unhealthy aspects of my then unhealthy world view.
It wasn’t until life reflected certain realities back to me, that I was eventually able to reconsider who I thought I was here to be and pursue what felt aligned for me.
Essentially, I was to be totally deconstructed and chose to put myself back together in a different way. That empowered me with the tools to be able to eventually totally steer my own ship.If that’s true for you, I would like to acknowledge your tenacity in facing one of the most intense, painful, excruciating of human transitions that it is possible to endure.
TIP: As Winston Churchill famously said “If you are in the middle of hell, keep going”. Resistance is kind of a frenemy, it can seem like it offers temporary shelter (and it does offer this when we need a time out). Don’t stay there, it sucks and is exhausting.
4. The bigger the journey to uncover your purpose, the bigger the outcome
Are you have or have you experienced suffering? When you uncover your blocks and release your potency, (suffering is potency you are using against yourself), you will heal and eventually become unstoppable.
I did know I was meant to make an enormous contribution and my purpose was meaningful. What people said when I was lost and nothing I tried resonated was “Nothing is wasted”. “Keep going and developing, you can change direction as often as you need”. “By learning from everything you create, eventually you will know”.
TIP: If your journey of ‘being shaped for your purpose’ is very long, your purpose is powerful, stay the course and remember this when it gets challenging.
4. Your soul is infinitely wise, it’s okay to trust and let go
Trying to control what your purpose turns out to be is completely futile. So is trying to make your family proud, chasing money, caring about your social status, image or the power that you might situationally wield over others.
TIP: Your soul doesn’t give a damn about these things, the more you focus on them, the more miserable (and separate from your higher self) you will become.
5. You may think you can’t have a purpose because you are ‘a talent free zone’ – this is never true
If you don’t know your talents and capacities yet, that’s okay. Perhaps no one has ever taken time to help you find them.
It’s easy to give into old challenges/ego/past traumas/fears and believe negatively about ourselves and it’s no wonder we do this given our design and nature. However, I can assure you, your soul knew what it was doing when you incarnated here and you are not that one person on earth without a reason for being.
TIP: What you are so good at, that you dismiss it as irrelevant? That is usually where we have some kind of genius. Overlap several of these areas and you will have a zone of uniqueness.
No one else can do what you are good at from your unique perspective and life experience, so it’s up to us to find the courage to make our contribution, even if other people are already doing something similar.
- Where do things seem to open up and feel easy for you?
- Where do they seem to shut down/feel hard?
- Where do you feel aligned with your authentic power?
- What did you love to do as a child that you haven’t thought about in years?
- What brings you joy?
6. If it feels like shit, it is and you are short changing yourself
Stop trying to ‘fit in’. You aren’t anyone’s anything. You are you…Stop trying to make others feel comfortable by hiding your capacities. You are not here to exist as average, mediocre, reasonable and the same as everybody else.
TIP: You are an infinite being navigating a human experience. Make it a phenomenal one. Don’t be afraid to turn up the intensity of who you are and burn bright. Make your asks bigger, don’t try to accommodate yourself to what you see around you. That is always a mistake.
7. Guidance comes when we tune in and slow down
Life has a natural flow and course of events, it’s up to us to notice contraction and expansion, doors opening and opportunities that don’t go our way. This is not an accident and life will direct and co-create with you if you are brave enough to allow it to.
The more connected to your conscious presence you become, the more you will have a sense of when to push further and when to let go with different things. Things not going our way can mean timing is off or there is a better opportunity coming.
As your purpose is revealed to you, you will feel alive, connected and able to reach flow states, receive inspiration and downloads. You will receive contribution from all around you and feel able to create and continue to stay the course under any circumstances.
8. There is power in living your purpose
As I took each step towards my healing and embracing my purpose, I began to connect more with my power. Of course that felt good, but it was more than that. It was like something was being revealed to me and I was being pulled in a particular direction.
I also didn’t know what part of the puzzle would fall into place next or how to necessarily accomplish the next desired outcome and that was frustrating, but I just kept going regardless. While I often wanted to give up, I couldn’t.
There is just an invisible, driving force escorting me onwards and the more I trust this and do the work, the more my skill and confidence grows.