I spent years in a state of self hatred, stuckness, feeling ill, vulnerable and in despair. I was depressed, anxious and felt trapped. Changing myself and getting to now where I love my life, am healthy and empowered, was a big job lol. On the way I learned a thing or two.
Here’s six ways you can begin to get free. I trust they will resonate and offer you some insight into what you have been choosing and how you can go forwards.
1. Do something Different
“You can’t fix your problems with the same thinking that created them” – Albert Einstein
If everything you’ve done/chosen/been in your life has got you to this point and you’re not happy where you are at, if things aren’t working for you and it’s been that way (honestly) for ages, it’s time to be different.
“Continuing to do the same thing whilst expecting a different result equals insanity” – Albert Einstein.
Although we can often recognize when you are at a place where maybe you can’t go on the same way, knowing what to do when maybe you are paralysed with disempowerment, fear and stuckness is another matter altogether.
There is a huge freedom in reaching this point and saying “Enough”!!!
It doesn’t necessarily matter what you do differently to begin with, what’s more important is that you make a change. This will yield some sort of feedback/momentum that allows you to re-evaluate and gain some kind of traction.
I know when you’re at this place, everything feels super significant and almost paralysingly difficult. Just go forwards somehow, you can course correct later on.
2. Listen to the quiet voice within
Sometimes we are lost and super stubborn about it. When we have the realization things aren’t working, it can seem sudden. The fact is, things haven’t been working for ages, it’s just that you’ve been hanging on, trying to stay safe or make things work and when they don’t we can just dig in more.
If all else fails, it might be time to ask your higher self or your soul a few questions.
I did that before I left an old destructive relationship. I asked my soul “Should I stay or go”?
My soul immediately answered “If you stay, you’ll die”.
That single moment, gave me such clarity and awareness, I knew what I had to do.
I’d tried analyzing my way out of what was broken, I tried blaming (myself and him), I tried fixing, avoiding. I asked the Universe to make things work out the way I wanted them to. I also took an opinion poll from all my friends and family.
None of it worked, because I wasn’t supposed to stay.
The ultimate authority in your life, should be you (not the egoic, tired, day to day, human version of you – which we all have), the infinite, light, free and wise version of you, that knows what’s in your best interests.
Sound crazy to do this? It’s not half as crazy as carrying on stuck and miserable. Sometimes what we resist most is what will set us free.
3. Get ruthlessly honest – with you and make a decision to change, no matter what!
Have you ever had one of those moments of insight, where suddenly you saw things from the other person’s perspective, or you suspected suddenly, you might be the problem, then you pushed it away again and carried on?
“Emotional self honesty gives us the key to self mastery and lays the groundwork for empowerment and personal freedom” Rose Aitken
Once you own it, you can change it. As much as we may think it’s everyone else’s fault or that we are the victim in our own existence, that is never true. You are in charge now and how that plays out regardless of what’s happened before, is up to you.
Is NOW the time to own your life and future? So you can have an easier, happier, more peaceful existence?
4. Ask for help and guidance, reach out and be willing to receive whatever shows up
Reach out to someone you can trust. Pick someone who will listen and receive you without judgment. Say where you are at and what’s going on. Ask for them to hold space for you. Find out how they keep it together or what they do to have a life that works for them.
Trust you will be guided to someone wise and ask for help to find that person. Remain very open. Good things never show up the way we think they are going to, and we limit our receiving very much, by thinking that they do…
Explore new modalities, methods, ideas and possibilities. If what you’ve been doing isn’t working, it’s time for something else. Life is about progression and change and when we are troubled it’s very easy to become stagnant as a defense mechanism. It is never a good one and just puts us at more of a disadvantage.
5. Realize you control your thinking. Stop being neurotic, defending yourself to others and being negative
If you consistently hold in place negative thoughts, you won’t be a match for happy people. You will drive anyone awesome out of your life and wonder why what shows up is negative people, places and things. I frequently see good people confused about their struggles, whilst their inner self talk and habits are devastatingly destructive.
This always as a result of trauma, so it is never our fault, it’s just that we have to draw a line and decide when it must stop.
If you project your ill feelings of yourself onto others, stop it. What you are doing is very egotistical and unfair to them. It takes humility to go “You know what, I’m sick of being messed up and making everything about me, I’m sure life has my back and I can put my head down and bravely get on with being the best me possible”.
Guess what happens when we do that? Life will meet us there and rewards us amply for our courage, perseverance and honesty. And yes, this is scary and raw and we have to face up to our old stories and where we have limited ourselves.
Facing that fear isn’t nearly as scary as being permanently stuck, depressed and paralysed by own crap.
6. Get a coach
Most people still have no idea how a life coach can help them, or assist them to change their lives for the better. Having someone in your corner that has your back in every respect, who sees your true genius and can call you on your stuff is gold. We could all use a coach to help us outcreate our past, improve our thinking and feeling, and create a future we are excited about.
Coaching is quite positively focused, however an exceptional coach will be able to counsel you and facilitate you to heal as well as hold space for your transformation and support you in getting there with kindness, inspiration and compassion. They have been there themselves, worked their way through it and can inspire you with their own example. They can sense your blocks, skill gaps and blind spots and give feedback that helps you really reach for your greatness.
If you want to discuss your future today, book here