Embarking on a quest for answers and practicing self development is often the result of experiencing stuckness and emotional pain.
When we persist, we get breakthroughs and we may feel relief and discover new facets to ourselves. We may even set forth in a completely new direction.
Even if you have already had several experiences of breakthroughs and experiencing expansion and being re-directed, you will still hit those uncomfortable spots where you feel stuck again and require guidance.
This is not because we are inadequate, but because we are asking for greater. We have not been where we are heading before and sometimes we benefit from those who are expert at easing us into those changes and equipping us for the journey.
When we make the demand of ourselves and of life, and we get sick of our own suffering, we can go powerfully forwards. Here’s how:
1. TRUST AND ALLOW
Transformation (particularly when we are new to it) is terrifying. We are actually being prodded to embrace an as yet, invisible, reality. That requires us to trust on a level we have never trusted before.
We may alternate between reading about self and spiritual development and feeling inspired, followed by turning to old destructive habits and people.
Sometimes this is necessary part of the journey as it soothes us when we are so uncomfortable and allows us temporary respite while we re-group.
2. EXPECT INTENSITY
For some, change needs to be an implosion of their existing life and a quest for survival, that forces new direction and justifies different choices.
There can be several reasons for this. We may be very attached to who we had decided we had to be, or to what others think of us. Or holding fast to what we know might feel like a survival strategy
I clearly recall years ago, as my old life broke down around me, feeling like a would die if I stayed stuck one more second, yet simultaneously feeling powerless to change. I was lost but desperately wanting a better way to be.
I was scared that anything I did, would be as painful or worse than what I was already experiencing. However, my soul was crying out for a path of less resistance.
Luckily life had my back and events out of my control forced my hand. I needed that, as I was willing, I was just stuck in my old identity and didn’t know how to change.
3. MAKE THE DEMAND OF LIFE AND OF YOURSELF TO BE DIFFERENT
Even if we don’t know what this looks like and we have heaps of resistance, if we make the demand, life will bring about circumstances that support the change we require.
4. UNDERSTAND YOU ARE WIRED FOR SAFETY NOT CHANGE
Resistance is the domain of the ego.Your ego associates change with fear and danger. Therefore, it creates terror and a sense of dread around change.
If you are in that position, congratulations, you have a very strong desire to survive lol. The discomfort you are experiencing is a natural, instinctive reaction to preserving your existence.
5. RECOGNIZE RESISTANCE
As we move to the end of the road as a victim of our circumstances and life starts to place into our awareness a desire to change, resistance may emerge as our constant companion.
Resistance is our comfort when we get to close to the precipice of change and our tormenter when we want to leap. Just like the bungy jumper that won’t get off the platform, we stand there feeling silly, desiring the thrill of the leap and being terrified all at once.
When I was resistance filled, I used to oscillate between anger, futility, despair, rage and self-hatred. I was shackled to my past and yet deeply desired freedom.
6. DISARM THE EGO, BRACE YOURSELF AND LEAP
We can take control with our ego, by addressing it directly. You may say something like the following
“I have got this, I don’t need you right now, thank you for keeping us safe for so long” Then we need to leap off the cliff and trust life to catch us on the way down.
When we do this, life shows up to support us. You will meet people, have opportunities and create connections that do gently urge us in the direction we need to go.
When we make a genuine decision to change, there is a sense of immense relief.
Resistance is usually replaced by a mixture of fear and excitement. This is completely normal and is a sign of positive possibilities.
If we allow it, there may be a sense of being guided, pulled or led. There is definitely a sensation of being encouraged and stroked by the Universe and all of life, into finally reaching for our greatness.
With that and our new sense of direction, may come a sense of release and letting go, perhaps for the first time.
8. DIVINELY LED SUPPORT AND OPPORTUNITY
When we follow through on changing ourselves from the inside out, life will honor our intention and show up to assist.
I’ve been constantly amazed in my journey, once I was a little bit open and doing my best to be better, how the lessons I received, were perfect for me.
Usually they were just painful enough for me to take notice and enable my transformation without crippling me.
Many times during the early days of my metamorphosis, I wanted to cry myself to sleep and not wake up. It’s tough showing up in the world differently when we are vulnerable and perhaps learning what we need to know.
Despite this, I was supposed to be here, I had to keep going and on the other side of self mastery, was something I couldn’t give words. I just knew.
9. IT GETS BETTER
Keeping going in those moments is true courage. The result of persistent courage, is that you develop resilience and confidence.
Diamonds are made under pressure – Unknown
10. LISTEN TO YOUR KNOWING
You know what you know. You don’t need to wait as long as I did.
Changing can be the hardest decision you ever make, however if you do the work, the rewards will be even more incredible than you can imagine.
As you begin to master yourself, you get to your mountain top and from there the downhill begins.
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