When Change Seems Impossible and Yet it is our Only Option…How to embrace it and get out of your own way

Some of us have without even knowing it yet, chosen a path of expansion, self-awareness, growth and change for this journey here on earth.

This article is not for those of you who know this, or who are currently exploring a path of self-awareness, enlightenment and growth. It is for those of you in that precarious and painful place, where you are being uncomfortably redirected. You may not know it yet, but you are undergoing the beginnings of the breakdown of everything you thought you knew about life.

You might be beginning to recognize the stirrings of a desire to overcome what isn’t working. Perhaps there is a version of you, you secretly long for (perhaps more than anything).  Maybe you desire a transformation of consciousness that would provide you with ease, and a level of mastery that would enable your highest purpose and attributes to emerge.

Most likely this sensation is enticing, almost seductive, yet elusive and frustrating, because for now, you are not yet embracing this possibility.

For some strange reason you cannot fathom, you are developing a sense that you are supposed to be more, you can be more, you deeply desire more and yet…

For that to happen, and for us to be truly ready, everything we thought we knew, needs to fall apart.

“The bit before the Breakthrough, feels like a breakdown” Dr Dain Heer

1.Growing pains

Not only is that breakdown tumultuous to experience, it is scary, often incredibly painful and confusing. We are actually being prodded, to embrace an as yet, invisible, reality.

We may alternate between reading about self and spiritual development and feeling inspired, followed by turning to old destructive habits and people.

Whilst some people have perhaps what could be termed a mild ‘rock bottom’. For others, it needs to be an explosive and all encompassing, implosion and quest for survival, to force a new direction and justify different choices.

I clearly recall, prior to choosing my biggest changes, the intense sensation of being unable to get off the path I knew, whilst deviating temporarily into exploring what was greater.  Yet, for the longest time, I continued to return to the same day to day existence.

In retrospect, the trajectory of things was headed in line with my soul choices. However, because I consistently rejected opportunities embrace my purpose, it took an explosive turn of events, for me to align with my true course. I could then feel justified in wholeheartedly, committing to it.

It was almost as though I needed to be able to say I had no other option, or I had to exhaust every other alternative, before I would ‘go there’.

All the while this was happening, I was in pain emotionally. My soul was crying out for the path of least resistance. Yet the human version of me didn’t fully listen. Part of that was down to the action of the ego and a thing known as resistance.

2. The Devil known as Resistance

As we move to the end of the road as a victim of our circumstances and life starts to place into our awareness a desire to change, resistance may emerge as our constant companion.

It is our comfort when we get to close to the precipice of change and our tormenter when we want to leap. Resistance paralyses us, keeping us in a never-ending state of misery.  

When I was resistance filled, I used to oscillate between anger, futility, despair, rage and self-hatred. I was shackled to dining at the picnic basket of hating life, detesting my inability to commit to being different, yet feeling I would die if I stayed one more second as I was.

I know fewer ways of feeling more tortured on an ongoing daily basis.  Staying the same feels like a long, painful, excruciating death. The thought of change feels intolerable, irritating, terrifying, unpleasant and horrible to contemplate.

3. The biology of staying safe (and small)

Resistance is the domain of the ego.

Your ego is essentially controlled by your cave man brain. It’s job is to be vigilant and keep you breathing and alive. It associates change with fear and danger. Therefore, it creates terror and a sense of dread around change. Your ego wants you to stay safe and small.

If you are in that position, congratulations, you have a very strong desire to survive lol. The discomfort you are experiencing is a natural, instinctive reaction to preserving your existence.

Unfortunately, that isn’t serving you (if you are on the cusp of change) and when you can’t spend one more second feeling the way you do, the jig is up. It’s time to shift and do something about it.

4. Disarm the ego, brace yourself and jump

Sometimes, we can just acknowledge our ego and tell it:

“I have got this, I don’t need you right now, thank you for keeping us safe for so long”

Then we need to leap off the cliff without the proverbial parachute.

(What I mean by this, is we take a leap into personal development, reach out for help and decide to be different, to grow, overcome, learn and to do what’s required to handle the discomfort of growth, as opposed to stagnation).

We need to find someone we trust, look for a program of change, do some research, ask some questions and go for gold.

5. The relief of committing to a course of action

It may surprise you, usually when we make a genuine decision to change, there is a sense of immense relief.

Gone is the resistance and it is usually replaced by a mixture of fear and excitement. This is completely normal and very common.

We know when we are being guided, pulled or led to being different. There is definitely a sensation of being coaxed, encouraged and stroked by the Universe and all of life, into finally reaching for our greatness. With that and our new sense of direction, may come a sense of release, trust and letting go, perhaps for the first time.

6. Unexpected support and opportunity

When we follow through on changing ourselves from the inside out, all of life will honour our intention and show up to support us.

I’ve been constantly amazed in my journey, once I was a little bit open and doing my best to be better, how the lessons I received, were perfect for me.

Usually they were just painful enough for me to take notice and large enough to enable the alchemy of my transformation. However, they were not so large that they crippled me.

Many times during the early days of my metamorphosis, I wanted to cry myself to sleep and not wake up. Yet, I knew I was supposed to be here, I had to keep going and on the other side of self mastery, was something I couldn’t describe. Keeping going in those moments is true courage. The result of persistent courage, is that you develop resilience.

Diamonds are made under pressure – Unknown

If this is your time for change, your season for change, please reach out.

You know what you know. Don’t wait as long as I did. It could be the hardest decision you ever make. If you do the work, the rewards will be even more incredible than you can begin to imagine.

As you begin to master you, you get to your mountain top and from there the downhill begins.

With love


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About Rose Aitken

Rose offers a unique approach to changing your life that encompasses body science, metaphysics, psychology, changing/aligning with energy and spiritual and soul work

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