1. WE BUILD RESILIENCE THROUGH DEALING WITH ADVERSITY:
Here are some important things to know with regards to getting through adversity that help us to not be swamped by it. They are:
- Knowing/believing you can find ways to deal with it
- Making a decision to survive whatever is happening – having some long term goals that go beyond the current situation
- Having people around who believe in you and have your back no matter what. If you don’t yet, then it’s important to learn how to create this for yourself.
- Becoming self aware and starting to clock anywhere your thoughts feelings and emotions are set to ‘victim’.
- Understanding that life wants you to do well and isn’t out to ‘get you’. We don’t change when we are comfortable and know that if you are uncomfortable right now, there are some wins awaiting you.
- Expansion/growth is for your highest good. Hidden in all pain/suffering is benefits, insights, awareness and opportunities if you are willing to take them
- You are not the one unique person who was designed to self destruct when things get tough. Yes, you can do it. What we don’t often realize in our pain and tumultousness is that there are people all around us who have survived worse and went on to live amazing lives. Just because your life may have been endlessly painful and you were never given good support/help/tools, doesn’t mean you can’t do well. Finally learning to endure will mean that you have the ability to thrive through future crises and challenges.
- Learning about internal dialogue and inner boundaries. How much attention you give to your ‘troubles’ and how much you analyze things and stay stuck in them is up to you.
- Know that for every problem there is a solution, but you can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it, so some change is required on your part.
2. SORTING YOURSELF OUT PROPERLY IS THE HARDEST WORK YOU WILL EVER DO AND THE MOST IMPORTANT AND WORTHWHILE
IT SHOULD BE YOUR HIGHEST PRIORITY, BECAUSE IT DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF YOUR FUTURE…
It’s so easy to justify why not to sort ourselves out….
It’s too expensive. My family/friends won’t understand, what if it doesn’t work? That seems unpleasant, I don’t like counselling, what if people think I’m weird?
These are all mental permutations of:
I’m NOT ready (I don’t want to be that successful/happy/well off/accountable yet)
I’m scared of change.
We are absolute masters of finding unconscious reasons to stay still and stay stuck. It’s safe, easy and no one will ask too much of us when we’re troubled and struggling or have low self esteem or dodgy mental health.
Life goes on whether you stay stuck or not. A year from now 12 months will have passed, whether you stepped up or not. Imagine November 2021 and where you’d like to be, who you’d like to be with, how much money you’d like to have, what your career could be like, your self confidence, wellness, energy levels, happiness, popularity, body image, self mastery, independence and self awareness…
Now compare that image with where you’ll be a year on if you keep going the way you have been. How will you feel different?
It’s a no brainer really. There’s no time like now.
3. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
When you reverse engineer (unravel and undo) your problems, you:
- Get free of them
- Understand you are a master creator of your life and reality
- Learn how NOT to do that again
- Understand how/why you created them, how they benefited you and you become open to learning new ways of showing up in your life.
- Until you have the courage to face what is and do something about it, you’ll keep repeating your old patterns and conditioning, without even being aware that’s what’s happening.
- You learn where you developed strength, endurance and new capacities as a result of operating from that space.
4. IN THE PROCESS OF CHANGE, WE HEAL AND DEVELOP WISDOM
Sometimes we aren’t interested in ‘healing’ at all. We just want a better life.
Healing happens when we let go of the past, realize we are complete and learn to be at peace with what has happened, be at ease in our own skin and function effectively in the world. It comes from knowing who you are, knowing what has shaped you, but not letting it bind and define you.
Sometimes this takes deep, unpleasant and uncomfortable reflections at what, how and who has hurt us and allowing that pain to surface, so we can let it go. We may require help through that. We may have to stop blocking things out and be truly present with them for the first time.
We may have to trust someone who can help us get where we want to go
We may need to choose vastly different habits, thoughts, feelings, emotions, patterns, friends and self care.
After we have been on this path for a while, we tend to embrace it fully and learn to enjoy the ride. We will inevitably come to create change proactively and to welcome challenges for bringing a richness of opportunity and growth into our lives.
We come to trust ourselves, make good decisions and have great people around us.
5. YOUR SUCCESS IS A DIRECT REFLECTION OF YOUR COURAGE
The more you’ve had to go through to get to here, the more courage you possess. It may not feel this way, but it’s true. How you go forward from here is up to you <3