I frequently see many people on social media touting ‘self love’ as a cure for all sorts of emotional issues.
Self love isn’t a cure for emotional problems. When we do the hard work to remove problems, our frequency raises and this allows us to be filled up with love and to receive it from ourselves, from source and from others.
For me ‘self-love’ means I hold a space of love for everyone and everything I come in contact with (as much as humanly possible). That way I am bathed in love and I get to feel phenomenal most of the time.
I also perceive energetically, the highest version of someone – who they are becoming and who they could be and speak straight to that aspect of them, which makes them (and me) feel good.
I had to do a lot of inner work to get to loving. Here are some of the ways I accomplished this:
Remove your emotional baggage
Get help to do this if you need to, but as long as you are filled up with pain, conflict, negativity from others or the residue of difficult experiences, you can’t/won’t be able to connect easily with love.
Science has proven that doing mirror work or affirmations doesn’t work when we are divorced from our inner self through emotional issues.
Forget ‘Self Love’ – Practice Self-Care, Self-Respect and Self Awareness Instead
Taking amazing care of your body is paramount for doing well in life. Self respect means you have healthy boundaries, a healthy self discipline and respect for others and all of life.
Have regard for yourself and your talents and abilities, for how you treat others. Nurture these qualities and be proud of them.
Nail this and pretty soon you can hold a space where love can flow through you and to everyone you know. Then people become drawn to you, as they want what you have and you unconsciously give them permission to be that way too.
Learn Emotional Mastery
This is key to an amazing life. Otherwise you will struggle and never understand yourself and others.
Without emotional mastery, things that happen will trip you up and take you off course because you will react to things instead of allowing life, expressing your emotions and managing your responses.
From that space it is hard to be a match for love and to contribute to others as we get caught up in patterns which limit the emotional states we can attain.
By emotional mastery, I mean learn to understand where your conditioning begins and ends and what your own authentic responses to things are. You learn to let your body express it’s awareness, whilst choosing your thoughts (and feelings based off your thoughts) in any given situation.
Be kind to Everyone (including yourself) and surround yourself with amazing people
You can be exceptionally kind and still say no. Honor others, appreciate them in your life and be in allowance of their choices. This is pragmatic loving. Decent people will respect no and honor you back. They will see your value.
When people don’t respond in that way, it isn’t a wrongness of you, it’s an awareness of where they are currently at. That is all. You get to chose whether to include those people in your immediate life.
Become a master of sensing and amplifying appreciation
Gratitude is okay but appreciation is awesome! Appreciation is when you adore without expectation, people, places, situations, yourself, your situation, all forms of abundance and your experiences.
Trip out on all the things that make you happy constantly and you become a beacon for love and all kinds of beautiful experiences and synchronicities.
Having a sense of purpose that lights you up from the inside and drives you to achieve more
Once you find your purpose for this life time, that sense of God/Universe/Source energy/love is in everything you do. Again this isn’t ‘self-love’, it is connecting with love, being love and allowing you to grow and become the best version of you.
Don’t focus on the ‘having’ of your goals, but on who you will become in the process of achieving them. This is real humility and it shows.
When you want to become the person who achieves something, your attachment to outcome lessens and you become different.