Many of us have experienced feeling powerfully upset or down, due to events that felt bigger than us that seemed overwhelming.
In the last week I felt something akin to temporary depression with the death of a beloved animal, with whom I had the most powerful, sweetest, loving connection.
As I had many years of powerful depression in the past and learned how to manage and then dissolve this for myself, when I felt distraught and a sense of grief last week, I was able to perceive what was happening and implement certain strategies to deal with it.
Perhaps the following strategies will be helpful to you:
- ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT IS AND ALLOW IT TO BE
Allow all feelings and emotions without resisting them or freaking out.
Emotions are the soul expressing through our body, so they are genuine.
Feelings are body reactions to conditioned thoughts, that we filter through the lens of our past experiences and they are not real, they are only a bodily sensation that is based in electrical circuitry that quickly passes.
In it’s purest form, negative feelings let us know whether the preceding thoughts are healthy or aligned with our highest self. Positive feelings are aligned with who we really are.
TIP: The more you just allow thoughts, emotions and feelings to just be, the more they will express and release naturally. If you want to examine or explore any further, journaling can be helpful here.
2. TAKE A LOOK AT THE BELIEFS UNDERLYING ANY SAD OR UPSET FEELINGS
This week, following the passing of my beautiful animal companion, one belief I clocked was:
“Every time I experience true happiness/contentedness/safety, it is taken away”.
It felt heavy and I was able to notice and work through the past experiences that thought was connected to and let them go.
TIP: Feelings are related to thoughts and are an indicator of unhelpful beliefs and old conditioning. Beliefs are thoughts that we keep thinking.
3. REFRAME NEGATIVE BELIEFS FOR POSITIVE ONES AND CHANGE FOCUS
This ISN’T forced positivity and I wish to emphasize this as positivity (ironically) has a really bad reputation right now.
In the above example, I know that life is not punative and I also know that genuine connections aren’t lost with the passing of a body. They may change, but they are still there.
Therefore, I was able to look at the soul contracts between the two of us, see what a massive contribution I was in his world and him in mine, understand what our connection meant on a deeper level and experience immense gratitude for his presence in my life.
When I consider the growth attached to the timing of this loss for me in terms of preparation for what lies ahead and letting go, I couldn’t continue to stay sad.
I was able to take a look at where I have an attachment to things and to others and see how massive my receiving has become. I was so thankful to experience such a beautiful, pure connection and allow it to be what it is.
I was able to replace my lack and fearful belief with a richer, more sustaining one:
“I am supported by life and I am able to give and receive extraordinary love”
TIP: When working to change beliefs, let the feeling be a guide to the thought. Write out the negative thought and then ask questions to go beneath this, and get what the attached belief is.
Some people like to burn the piece of paper to signify letting the old belief go, other people like to meditate and imagine stamping the page with a cancelled stamp. Others like to journal or ask their spiritual ‘team’ to heal them and remove the belief from the body and being.
4. CARE FOR YOUR BODY AND HAVE BODY WORK TO SUPPORT YOUR CHANGES
I had my Bars run twice with trusted friends to clear old energies and thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Bars is a body process that works heavily on the neural pathways, the body and the being, allowing massive change to take place.
I made sure to also eat well, do pilates for back pain and use essential oils relevant to help me connect with and release my emotions.
TIP: The body is the one that facilitates our connection with our emotions and feelings, so it really does need support, whatever that looks like for you. If you don’t know what works for you, try something new.
5. TOP UP ENERGY AND TO REST
Experiencing shock, expressing emotion and processing feelings takes energy.
TIP: try to rest more than usual. You can intersperse this with normal routine stuff to stay connected, purposeful and retain some momentum.
6. I AM DISCIPLINED IN MY SELF CARE AND ROUTINES
This often feels so difficult to do, but after years of practice, it is kind of easy too, so I can ignore that sneaky message in my brain, telling me to cut corners. I find the routines soothing and as I effort, I get present in a way that gives relief.
TIP: Ignoring our self care, just makes us less able to cope. An unhappy body is less energetic and less able to process what is happening effectively.
7. GET OUT IN NATURE AND MOVE
Getting out on my own, gives me perspective, lets things go and tops up my cup.
For me running burns off stuckness and energizes me, allowing me to think clearly and get things done. It also provides endorphins that allow for more ease and relaxation.
TIP: Oxygenating the body through movement, grounding with earth and experiencing the lack of judgment in nature, is soothing and calming.
8. I REACH OUT TO THOSE WHO SUPPORT ME
I communicate what is happening and allow those people to have my back. This is new for me and I’ve had to learn how to receive it and damn it feels good.
TIP: Inviting those who care to know what we need and support us contributes to us and them.
9. DON’T MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS
This not a good time to act out of feelings, as issues that were secondary, can loom large, when the body is out of kilter and we feel vulnerable.
TIP: When emotion is high it can be harder to be objective or decide things as we normally would.
10. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND RE-EVALUATE COMMITMENTS AND WORKLOAD
I acknowledge my humanity and allow myself to just go through what is in front of me, the same way I would with a friend. I don’t judge or make myself wrong for it. If something in my diary is too much, I delegate or re-schedule
TIP: Honor your commitments, show up and be vulnerable and honest, yet professional.
If you would like to schedule a session to deal with grief, trauma or situational depression please go here.