1. MANAGE YOUR OWN STATE SO YOU ARE PURPOSEFUL AND IN FLOW
Prevention is better than cure.
Avoid stressful situations and people, by not being an energetic match for them. I do this by being well, energized and in a high vibe state.
When I am clear, fulfilled and purposeful, I seldom encounter the negative. If I do, I barely notice and it slides off again.
TIP: Being focused and aligned with your own trajectory leaves you buoyant, robust and not a match for drama. Therefore you won’t attract it or even notice it, should it show up.
2. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR EMOTIONS, THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND OTHER PEOPLE’S
If we are empathetic, we will often be aware of other people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions, without even pausing to check whether it’s our stuff or someone else’s.
When we are around someone who is sad for example, we may assume it is us who is sad, when in actual fact, we are just aware of their sadness.
TIP: If we are interrupted by difficult thoughts, feelings or emotions, ask if they are yours. If they aren’t, return them to sender with consciousness attached. (This is actually facilitating the other person to get free of their stuff if they are willing to receive that). This is a tool from Access Consciousness.
3. IF SOMEONE IS STRUGGLING, SUPPORT THEM, DON’T GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH THEM
When someone you care about is struggling, be there, support, assist and don’t go down with them. We are taught to vibrationally match people’s state, to show caring. All this does is create two struggling people.
TIP: When helping others, hold your own frequency and stay there. It is actually a better feeling for the person whom you are supporting as they feel safer that way. This takes some practice and can feel weird at first, then it feels really good.
4. MAKE A DECISION NOT REMAIN AT THE EFFECT OF ANYTHING AND TO TAKE EFFECTIVE ACTION INSTEAD
Can you remember a time when someone did something dreadful and you observed it, just carried on and didn’t let it affect you? We can do that a lot more often than we do.
When we are healed, we can’t be triggered, if we observe ourselves getting reactive, we have some internal work to do on that thing.
TIP: If something is bothering you, don’t simply react, but take an honest look at who’s problem it is. If someone is behaving appallingly, deal with that, set boundaries and move on. Often the lesson here becomes where we missed red flags and allowed the someone in.
We can only be at the effect of someone else if we are making them more powerful than us and that’s usually a trauma response.
5. BECOME EDUCATED AND EMPOWERED
When I was younger, everything was about me because I had buried trauma. I felt so vulnerable, if anyone did anything nasty towards me or doubted me, I felt super upset and victimized because that was my world view.
Now I have evolved, healed and know more about human behavior, I see where others are functioning from and I know (at least) I am free to react or not. All poor behavior is unmet needs or defense and that’s seldom to do with me.
TIP: If we are empowered, we can let all of life flow around us, trusting ourselves and our own judgment and holding our own space, because we have done the inner work. Generally if we then encounter something, it’s showing us somewhere else to look at or we are currently off our game in some way.
6. BE CONSCIOUS OF WHO OTHERS REALLY ARE
People will always be true to who they are, what they know and what works for them. This is true, whether you like or believe in them, or regardless of whether you see their potential or think they are a good person.
TIP: Take off your rose coloured glasses and be truly honest with yourself about others are and how they function. Don’t project onto someone else who you can see they could be, or who you would like them to be for you.
Don’t attribute your values to others and then get hurt when people don’t treat you as you would them. They will always be who they are and they don’t have your heart.
7. REMOVE YOUR OWN TRIGGERS BY DOING YOUR HEALING WORK
Old traumas and unhelpful beliefs form a filter through which we view everything, leaving us unnecessarily reactive to situations and to people.
Not only that, the Universe will bring us and more and more instances of those type of people and situations, until we heal. We owe it to ourselves to get free and not be a walking target, with those things stored in our field for others to unconsciously read.
TIP: See a trusted coach or therapist or body worker, who can work with you to shift and heal your old wounds and traumas that are currently unresolved with you.
As scary as this is, it is a huge route to freedom and to upgrading everything in your life.
8. REFLECT ON YOUR AWARENESS WITHOUT JUDGMENT OR CONCLUSION
We are taught in our culture in order to stay safe from people who are doing bad or wrong, we need to judge them as being separate and different from us.
We can just be aware who they are and what they get up to, without thinking too much about it.
TIP: It is a conscious choice to allow. We don’t know the reasons others are that way and where they are at in their soul journey.
9. DON’T ARGUE WITH INSANITY
“Never argue with a fool. He will pull you down to his level and beat you with experience” Mark Twain
If we are sensitive, arguing the rightness of our point of view can be damaging. If powerful within ourselves, we don’t confront, we just know and we just choose accordingly.
TIP: Self-actualized folks who are healed are circumspect. They allow others to be where they are at, whilst acknowledging that change is always possible, and they are not attached to that outcome.
The ways you can be unaffected by others are :
- Making yourself happy
- Healing old hurts and limitations
- Being aware of where others are functioning from
- Allowing them to be that way without reaction
- Trusting in what you know
- Don’t make others more powerful than you
- Not judging – it messes us up and them
- Understanding Human Behavior
- Having Emotional and Energetic Self Mastery – know what is yours and what isn’t