Hello, I’m Rose,
Here’s some of the interesting bits about how I came to be who I am today, fell into a life of running a personal development business and why that enables me to have something of value to offer you.
Whilst leaping out of bed to create content for you my audience and running private sessions, workshops and classes on consciousness and personal development is something I love now, it wasn’t always that way…
Although I’ve now come to acknowledge my soul purpose this time around and to appreciate every moment of what I’ve experienced to become who I am today, my story began in a not so emotionally easy place.
I grew up in a dysfunctional household, was severely bullied at school and lacked role models and support growing up. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was sewing the seeds for a multiplicity of anxiety disorders that would plague me for decades, several rounds with glandular fever, which eventually morphed into CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) not to mention a constant sense of shame and vulnerability that left me badly co-dependent and in a series of toxic relationships.
To cope with things and distract myself from my pain, I indulged in eating disorders and experimented with self medication using alcohol, then with pain killers and other substances too. What those things gave me wasn’t addiction, but the awareness it was possible to be in a body and feel well, relaxed and free from emotional pain (which I have always experienced strongly as an empath from a chaotic family).
Oddly enough, instead of destroy myself, these experiences gave me an incentive to heal and experience life differently. Through all the turbulence I kept trying to develop and grow, I experimented by putting myself in situations I didn’t have the skills to handle, often with excrutiatingly painful results. I DEFINITELY don’t recommend this strategy of “feel the fear and do it anyway” without adequate support or skills (even with a strong desire to succeed) as it can have devastating consequences.
The overwhelming emotions I experienced throughout my 20s and 30s were separation from others, along with disconnection, dis-empowerment and stuck-ness, which meant that along with my physical health and anxiety, I was often deeply depressed and frustrated. Nonetheless, somehow, I continued to learn, try different jobs, attend courses and succeed against the odds.
I was and have always been a bookworm. Since childhood I’ve read around psychology, philosophy and spirituality. I was also aware of mental health issues before it was trendy or popular. I witnessed a lot of suffering around me both in terms of what the traditional system had to offer and in terms of people choosing limitation and suffering in their lives. Calling it too hard and living a mediocre life of quiet desperation wasn’t enough for me.
What I failed to anticipate was that my own journey would seem so painful, lengthy and tough before I would ultimately understand my destiny and find my answers. However, there was no way I was stopping! I wasn’t happy being unable to feel okay in my own skin, being crippled by anxiety and low self esteem and prevented from enjoying life. I didn’t know myself properly and couldn’t at that time use my talents to accomplish what mattered to me. None of that worked for me and I wasn’t having it!
When I talk about finding my own answers I am talking big picture stuff such as how energy works, how we know our soul purpose, why we choose such difficulties, sometimes at a very young age and what it really takes to be empowered as a soul here, having a human experience. Also, why we associate with certain people in our lives, often thematically and how all of these choices underlay our experience, our psychology and our ability to function effectively, to succeed, to know ourselves, feel relaxed and thrive as human beings.
As it turns out, I have a very big mission (to empower as many individuals as possible to release their blocks, uncover their purpose and learn the tools they need to thrive and succeed in every area of life and in doing so to create a more conscious and expansive existence for all on planet earth). So it was going to take quite a bit for me to be broken open enough to get the learning I needed to be worthy of that and to be halted enough to uncover my true calling and purpose.
Whilst going the motions of everyday life and navigating through many trials and tribulations, besides reading, I tried everything I could think of for my health and mind. Things like therapy, counselling, stress management, co-dependency treatment, assertiveness training and many health modalities, such as chelation therapy, vitamin C mega dosing, hair mineral analysis, homeopathy, naturopathy, accupuncture, religion, yoga, self help books and meditation.
Frustratingly, none of these things would unlock me from the shackles of my past (which we store in our cellular memory, muscle memory, neural pathways and energy field), but without noticing, I had begun to piece together a broad and deep understanding of many aspects of life and well-being, which meant other people were coming to me for advice. I also developed a strong sense of compassion and began to understand my leadership capacities.
By my late 30s I had acquired a degree in business and had one job I really loved – working with youth and long term unemployed, but with that completed, my governmental contract work based in Australia was decidedly unsatisfying. In a new relationship with a US citizen, I moved there to make a fresh start. When that ran it’s course after 8 months, I returned to NZ to start again. Despite my ‘achievements’ I still felt like hell inside and I knew that my past was driving my thoughts and behavior in spite of my learning. I had to do something radically different. I sensed if I had stayed on that path, I would have died one way or another.
It was time to find a real and compelling purpose, change my ways of thinking and coping with life, re-wire my nervous system and anxiety levels, improve my health, weight and vitality and earn money in a way that meant something to me. This was an all in or all out situation, it wasn’t a dip my toe in the water to see how it felt thing. Despite my resolve, I know what it’s like to experience massive resistance and fear as I really didn’t know who I’d become, how to get there or what the end results would look like and that is terrifying, even when you know that the alternative is no alternative.
Since I was changing everything, I took a leap of faith and enrolled in life coaching training. Shortly after I discovered a body of work known as Access Consciousness and after years of looking, I knew in an instant, that I’d found the money ticket with which to get myself free.
Although I rapidly progressed and I was incredibly buoyant knowing I’d finally found my tools to facilitate my finding myself again, it was slow going assimilating the changes and integrating them, knowing what I needed to address yet and learning how to undo all of my old programming whilst simultaneously creating life the way I wanted it to be, without really knowing how at first. Trauma recovery is slow, especially when overlaid with poor health, loads of doubts and setbacks, struggles and sticking points.
I’d have to say the next bit was decidedly unglamourous. It was day in and day out of doing what I need to change. Learning how that looked on a soul level, releasing emotions and working all the tools at my disposal until they became integrated within me. I was learning to run my own business at the same time. Although it was early days, I was already being sought out to work with others and I was better able to help them than myself to begin with. I knew at this stage if I kept going though, no matter how hard it seemed, I would get free.
That’s exactly what has happened…Disciplined, consistent action, combined with the correct tools made the difference for me. My ‘wheelhouse’ lay in combining the science of personal change and psychology with the study of ancient wisdom, energetic principles and pragmatic modern techniques for addressing life. Over time it became easier and then automatic. I was facilitating clients to get free from their stuck-ness and pain with amazing effectiveness and I began developing my own methods, confidence and eventually associated content.
The more I mastered my own inner world, the more my talents and capacities for facilitation, teaching and coaching have emerged. I’ve continued to complete more and more advanced training and to become expert at what I do, completing hundreds of private sessions and many classes to create dynamic, permanent and profound change with people in their lives. I use a combination of methods and modalities that allows them to release what they are ready, gain empowering tools and information, understand their psychology, soul level patterns and choices and work with energy to give comprehensive change and self awareness.
I do this by way of private one on one mentorship programs of 12, 26 or 52 weeks and group mentoring programs. I also offer Access Consciousness private sessions and classes, including the One Day Bars Practitioner training and the Four Day Foundation Class. I run local workshops in Nelson in Law of Attraction, Manifesting and Consciousness and have recently begun to speak publically on my skills and personal journey, both to educate and inspire.
Join me on social media and share the journey!