What happens when we have a situation in our life that is draining us and we feel ill equipped to handle it?
In negative or stressful scenarios involving others, just seeing another person will trigger a physical reaction that is distressing. If there is unpleasantness or further interaction between parties, that can be even more pronounced leading to fear, self-doubt, tension and even avoidance.
We can never control or change another’s opinion of us, (whether accurate or incorrect), but we can determine our inner response to events outside of our control.
True freedom isn’t the result of having others like us, it’s the result of us liking ourselves and being unaffected by what anyone else thinks. If we are empathetic, this can be particularly challenging and hard to handle as we feel it with enormous intensity that can make bad vibes and the accompanying inner sensations seem crippling.
For many people who are spiritual in nature they might think loving the other person or forgiving them is the answer.
There is nothing wrong with sending love or forgiving someone who means us harm or even who is misguided in their dislike of us.
But neither of those things frees us from our own inner thought patterns about the event, nor empowers us to look objectively at the situation and learn from it, nor teaches us to be in our awareness around others.
Why are these things important?
Because we are souls in a body having a human experience and our psychology is important as a way of understanding ourselves and others.
If we are in a position where we are temped to align and agree with someone who is dissing us, or resist and react to them, we are going to act from that space in the future, be easily triggered and at the effect of those other people, instead of being able to steer our own ship. It also means we haven’t been able to place things in perspective, step outside of our triggers and self-examine. It’s often the self-examination that leads us to greater awareness.
Awareness is key to understanding they dynamic between yourself and others, perhaps any roles going on by way of past (spiritual) agreements with other people and being able to tease out your own motivations, agendas, limitations and areas for improvement within communication and relationship.
This takes humility and serious commitment as self-improvement is not for the faint of heart, but it is liberating. Learning the tools to handle similar situations, being equipped to handle judgments from others and being able to maintain your centre and remain unaffected whilst seeing the bigger picture from an empowered instead of contracted space is priceless. Knowing you have those skills gives peace of mind like little else can.
Having done the inner work we can also rest easy in the knowing that we no longer require that lesson and can be confident that similar future events are extremely unlikely as we are no longer a vibrational match for them.