1.If a person or situation isn’t working for you, love it or them and all will be well

People who are lost and hurting are going to find it difficult to be in a vibration of love, so even if this advice did work, (which it doesn’t), it is ill advised for those whom it is intended to help. 

If someone is already conscious, highly aware and kind, this advice is equally unhelpful. These people already love, even when it is difficult or challenging. Throwing a guilt trip of ‘You’re not loving enough’ on top of someone’s issues is counterproductive.

People are looking for real skills to manage their lives, set boundaries and feel empowered.

They may require pragmatic tools to deal with their sensitivity, connect them with their strength, and an understanding of psychology and why they have certain patterns or blocks. 

TIP: You cannot love problems away, but you can be loving whilst dealing with them. You can also ask for love to flow to you when things are challenging. Read my blog about self love here

2 .If someone hurt you, you need to forgive them so you can heal

My belief is as follows: If someone hurt you, you need to heal and forgive yourself, so you both get free. Forgiveness matters as what we don’t forgive gets stuck inside us, however healing should take precedence over forgiveness every time. Here’s why:

If you make your recovery about the other person and what they did, you dis-empower yourself.

People can’t immediately forgive when deeply hurt and wounded. It is vibrationally and emotionally impossible, so telling someone in this state to forgive, can make them feel like they are wrong and prevent them getting past what happened – sometimes for years.

TIP: Instead of focusing on forgiveness, use your pain and hurt to transform and heal yourself on the deepest level. Be open and brave and get help if you need to. When true self responsibility and healing occurs, forgiveness is a natural by-product.

Please note: I am not saying don’t have compassion for all beings or  (including those who may have hurt us), I am saying, don’t sacrifice your healing in the name of pursuing unattainable ‘forgiveness’.

3. If you are nice to everybody that is what you will get back and life will be good

Spiritually inclined people are gentle, empathetic and prefer to avoid others with harsh energies. One coping strategy to avoid difficult/painful experiences with others is to be nice and look for similarities in others. 

From a Law of Attraction perspective, this is logical and seems like a great idea. Be kind, do good and draw others to you with a similar frequency. That works really well until it doesn’t and often nice, empathetic people struggle the most when dealing with toxic or difficult people.

That is because they lack experience and they may be attributing their own views of life onto others. Perhaps they are unaware, haven’t done the work of dealing with shadow and struggle to hold their own center in the face of negativity, becoming vulnerable in certain situations.

Awareness, is knowing what energy or behavior is required in a situation or with another person. Alignment is being that energy or setting that boundary, even if it means being ‘not nice’ and stepping into our potency.

Someone can be a sweet soul, but also toxic or emotionally unhealthy for us. We all encounter karmic or soul contract connections with others which can be destructive and painful. Toxic folks see kindness as weakness and will make you wrong and take advantage of it. 

TIP: Be aware whoever you are dealing with. Hold a frequency of love and decide where to contribute to others and who to be involved with. Be willing to use all energies and be potent when it’s required. Being a good manager of energy, doesn’t make you ‘not nice’.

If you have taken oaths, vows and promises to always be ‘nice’ in this life time, it can be helpful to heal and address, what your soul has decided it needs to atone for (as we have all been all things at one time or another).

4. Having Money Makes you a bad, un-spiritual person

You don’t have to prove your spiritual authenticity and distain for the institutionalized corruption that surrounds us by being broke. Money allows you to change things. With financial resources you can travel, spread your purpose, meet people and serve humanity.

Abundance contributes ease in all that you do and facilitates you to focus on your gifts. It gives you the power with which to create outside of the existing system and influence others. What do politicians fear more? Broke, hippie healers, or empowered, educated, connected people with spiritual gifts who are nailing life and helping others to do the same? 

Your divine birthright is abundance and you chose to incarnate into this reality where money is the means of exchange. Money is an energy and if you are a healer, you can be good with money. You deserve to be taken care of and to receive from life. If you can’t receive, there is something there you need to take a look at.

TIP: Life wants to support you in living out your purpose effectively. Be willing to receive financial abundance and you can be the highest version of you. 

With money you can assist others, empower and be empowered. Money isn’t evil, it is just a means for exchange and as an light worker or spiritual being, you should receive a fair exchange for the work that you do.

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