It’s never what happens to us that determines who we become, but what we tell ourselves about those events. Thanks to neuro plasticity, even a brain wired for trauma and abuse at a young age can be trained to function differently and create new, happier pathways and connections.
It a process that takes a lot of work in adulthood, but it is entirely possible and this has been my personal experience. I managed to do it through two primary means.
- Energy work that centers on the neural pathways, clearing out old electrical circuitry that holds, thoughts, feelings, emotions, judgments, trauma and points of view in place (Access Bars from a modality called Access Consciousness).
- Acquiring new information and tools, with which to identify and break old patterns of thinking and feeling and create new ones.
My level of ease, consciousness and emotional self mastery continues to improve and I have only just begun to uncover my real potential and possibilities!
For many people who have encountered challenges and difficulties, they are running around with a brain that is working against them and a set of beliefs which are unhelpful and through which they negatively filter almost everything.
I do see patterns of beliefs in clients and prospective clients which trip them up and sometimes even stop them from reaching out to change things. I hope if you identify with any of the following, that the accompanying information and perspectives will inspire you to do just this:
BELIEF NUMBER ONE: It’s really unfair I had such an abusive family/relationship and I am sick/broke/anxious and life has dealt me this hand
So you’ve had it rough to get to here and now you’re looking for answers! Well done, you’re in the right place!
There is no explanation for this other than our soul knew what it was doing when it chose that start in life/those events and you can either embrace it and start working hard to make the rest of your life the best of your life, or you can let a perceived inequality consume you.
Real adulting involves getting on with what you’re given and learning from there. You will develop acceptance, great insights and fit the pieces of the puzzle together along the way…
People with the toughest start often have the most to offer once they get a handle on things. If you are willing to do the challenging job of processing your wounds into wisdom, you have so much to offer, you will be able to leap light years ahead of others eventually.
The wisdom you will acquire in that process will enlighten you to a degree that most people never attain, even at the end of their lives.
You are often the one with the hidden advantage. It just takes a leap of faith, tons of courage and some damn hard work to get to uncover it. You will earn the joy of discovering your own resilience and the power of transformation, grace and redemption.
These are beautiful qualities. Once you embrace them, people will be magnetically drawn to you and you will create success and opportunities that others dream of in a relatively short amount of time.
Early changes can seem slow, endless and frustrating as we have to incubate and integrate them as we go. However, it gets easier and your confidence and competence will expand, resistance will lessen and you will eventually develop self-mastery if you stay the course.
Keep going, this work is part of your soul purpose (believe it or not). You can do it. I know you can, because I did it and if I can you can too. Read more about my journey here.
BELIEF NUMBER TWO: I deserve way better than this….Set of circumstances/situation/outcome I don’t like/job I didn’t get/missed opportunity
This is ego, fear, denial and conditioning talking. Who said you deserve better? If you were currently a match for that opportunity (and it was supposed to be yours) you would already have it!
We are all worthy of being loved and leading wonderful lives and we all have the equal opportunity to create that for ourselves, that doesn’t equal DESERVING.
Success is ours when our level of preparation invites opportunities and we are responsible for cultivating our own opportunities and becoming equal to what we say we want. There are a couple more things to bear in mind here:
Nothing intended for us can miss us, so if you are hung up on that relationship, job or win that you wanted, there was a reason you didn’t get it.
Either you have more growing or learning to do first, or for some reason which you aren’t yet aware of, there was a problem with it and you have in fact been positively redirected.
There is often something far better around the corner, it’s just that we tend to conclude, decide and judge what we think is best for us and react emotionally when it doesn’t work out.
When we allow life to help guide us in the midst of taking action to implement our goals and dreams, we create more easily and become more buoyant and happier in the process.
BELIEF NUMBER 3: I just care so much about the planet/animals/other people I have to be permanently sad because so much awful stuff goes on here
Give up ‘fighting’ for a better world. You will never create a change from railing against what is broken. You are wasting your life, your opportunities and your energy.
The only way we create a lasting change, is to change ourselves, demonstrate what is possible and inspire others to choose it too.
Smart people create a different way, connect with each other and empower themselves so they cannot be controlled. They also appear to fit into the existing system and make it work for them, whilst putting their energies into consciousness and developing positive change with which to improve life for everyone.
Stop being a victim. What you resist, persists, because you are energetically feeding it. This is also true on a global level, just think of the ‘War on terror’ the ‘war on cancer’ as examples.
The solution is to empower ourselves and others to out-create the problem. By committing to feeling good you become an agent, example and advocate for a better planet. When we sit around bemoaning what is wrong, we tip the collective consciousness towards trauma and drama adding to planetary woes.
BELIEF NUMBER 4: I just can’t get over this grief/loss/heartbreak and it’s the story of my life
Do you tell the same story of hardship to everyone you meet? Do you engage with life through the filter of one set of events, that you have allowed to define you? There is no judgment in those questions.
The reason you are holding onto past events can be one of two things:
- You experienced a trauma which you don’t know how to clear.
- Your conditioning and beliefs mean that you value holding onto that thing. (This is learned and can be unlearned).
If the trauma option resonates, see someone and get some help. There is no shame in doing so, it is a sign of strength. Life can be challenging and sometimes our human self just appears to freeze in time, even when we are well equipped.
If number two looks familiar, do you parents talk about that one thing that would have made them famous/rich/happy if it had just worked out, or do they pass down stories of the family tragedy and expect you to live by them too? If they do, that’s a sign you’ve been conditioned to victim hood.
You get to choose whether release these events/beliefs and become your best self or buy into a legacy of suffering.
Everyone has had grief and loss and how your life is right now is a result of every past decision you have ever made. (Even a decision to listen to others).
Our quality of life is determined not by our circumstances but by our level of courage.
There is always healing available to us and there is always another way. We are fragile, yet paradoxically, powerful beyond our knowing. Some of us just need a bit of help discovering that for ourselves and knowing how to access it.