With another year heading swiftly towards it’s conclusion, the holiday period is almost upon us, bringing with it a plethora of pitfalls for many who are experiencing challenges, or who’s lives are not exactly where they hoped they would be.
Whilst it is widely acknowledged that Christmas can be a difficult time for the poor and elderly, in my experience, it is often young people who hurt the most and feel isolated and marginalized at Christmas.
Everyone may expect young people to be having fun at Christmas and New Years, but often their friends are away with their families, leaving them alone in their flats. They may not have family, or theirs might be dysfunctional, toxic, unhealthy or abusive, leaving overwhelming feelings of isolation at this time of year. There may be financial or relationship pressures and other stressors, which affect many.
Without work over the holidays and many essential public services closed, any sense of isolation is magnified, making the holiday season seem endless. For those having therapy or counselling, their therapist will likely also be on holiday, leaving them less supported than usual.
The ‘festive’ season can amplify the aspects of life that feel empty or difficult, making Christmas seem like an exercise in survival rather than a celebration. Additionally, social media shows everyone else’s happy holiday highlight reel of family, presents, shared meals and beautiful locations, emphasizing how not awesome we can be feeling and adding to a sense of separation and even misery.
Please know if Christmas is a challenging time for you, life can and does get better. Here are some ideas that may help you survive and maybe shift some of this for yourself:
1. You are infinitely powerful, but without the skills to harness this, it may not seem that way right now
Current problems are temporary challenges (and opportunities to grow), as the result of past decisions, information, thoughts, feelings and emotions, conditioning and experiences.
We never get challenges that are bigger than us, but when we haven’t got the experience of knocking over past problems successfully, we can feel helpless and confused.
Also, if we have never been shown our power and how to use it, we don’t associate with it. Therefore, we may not have developed our resilience and we may be surrounded by those who are unkind, neglectful or ill equipped to support us.
If you are encountering difficult and prolonged challenges, on some level, you are able to cope with them and part of your soul purpose for this lifetime is to out-create and expand beyond these. We don’t choose problems unless we are on a growth pathway. Once we embrace that pathway and get a bit of support to master these things, we start our strength and the benefit in growth.
Sometimes we need guidance on how we can accomplish this and to explore fresh perspectives, knowledge, information and ways of doing things.
Being comfortable NEVER got anyone to examine their spiritual capacities, look beyond what they already know and ask bigger questions. That you are here reading this and looking for a better way is something to be happy about!
2.Recognize you are a soul having a human experience
You may be feeling detached from, separate and unsupported by others because of the way our society and families operate, but you are never alone.
You are surrounded by beings without bodies who love and support you. We all have a ‘team’ that is around us at all times, we are just not taught how to be aware of them, notice them or even how they communicate with us.
Just knowing this can ease the pain a little and give a sense of a bigger picture. Your soul is way more than the sum of your human suffering in this lifetime, but we come here without a memory of what was before. We can feel cast adrift, confused and lost as a result.
There is a bigger picture at play and there are experts who can help you gain more understanding and peace with your emotions and inner journey.
Reading some books by Doreen Virtue, going to classes or workshops can be a good start. Many begin with learning to meditate or journaling to connect with their spiritual capacities, inner wisdom or higher self. There are many local groups or videos on Youtube available which may help.
3. Stop seeing yourself as a victim and do things differently
When we are young, we may experience things we don’t know how to handle, which may leave us feeling self doubting, vulnerable or traumatized. Or our role models and family members may be chronic victims or have chaotic personalities. We then absorb this way of looking at the world and can begin to experience this as our truth. This can be changed and if you are in this situation, you are the one to change it.
We aren’t born with a manual for handling this reality, nor do most of us get to learn about consciousness before we are thrown out into life. However, it is never too late to unlearn dis-empowering perspectives and connect with our own guidance and wisdom.
Empathetic people may struggle more than most as their extra level of awareness. When others dislike them or are judging them is often overwhelming.
Your empathy is actually a super power once you know how to use it for you and not against you. As a recovering empath myself, I know it is infinitely possible to have a happy, easy and potent life. You can actually have some pretty cool advantages, once you know how to create that way.
Seek out an empowering workshop in the New Year, choose some coaching sessions or research and implement some new personal development/spiritual practices.
4. Take two more steps forward
Whatever that looks like for you, just take those steps…
Whether it is taking a nice bath, imagining something you are looking forward to, cleaning the house, having a clear out, eating your favorite food, posting on Facebook, calling a friend or visiting the library.
Maybe it is going for a walk, seeing a movie or listening to something soothing and good for the soul on You tube.
I highly recommend Matt Kahn, Bentinho Massaro or Esther Hicks chanelling Abraham if you are looking for spiritual upliftment, new knowledge, comforting vibes and inspiration.
5. Never give in and never give up!
You are way more powerful than you know and way more magical and capable than you have ever been lead to believe.
Unfortunately most of us are entrained to unconsciousness and fear through our conditioning, rather than empowered to find the greatest expression of us and to operate from there.
Whatever is bothering you whether it is situational or deeper than that, it can change. You can change it with the right tools, knowledge and support and with self awareness and determination.
We are taught to believe that we should accept our lot in life, but this is a lie of magnitude. If you are fed up it’s because you know something greater is possible for you. If you don’t fit in, it’s because you are probably here to help build a better, new world.
There is such a different possibility available to us all, once we start to undo our programming and look at things from our own potency. That takes some work, but it is the real job we are here to do. It’s not about paying the bills till we die.
You are a beautiful soul, you are here for a reason, thank you for stopping by and reading this post.
If you want to chat, please send me a message