Apparently a whopping 88% of people setting a New Years goal will inevitably ‘fail’, usually before they have even begun.
Whilst every ‘failure’ is an opportunity for learning and growth, it doesn’t feel good to set goals whilst watching our year unfold with all the same patterns unrealized hopes and dreams as before…
What if this year could be the year that you not only bring your goals to fruition, but surpass your own expectations and truly connect with your greatness?
Here’s why we can feel stuck and what to do to get past that and loving creating your future in 2021!!!
1. WE DON’T UNDERSTAND OUR OWN WIRING AND MOTIVATIONS
As humans we are motivated by avoidance of pain and the creation of pleasure.
Avoidance of pain is a stronger desire for most. For many people, their pain most likely isn’t going to reach it’s maximum heights whilst you’re on holiday, taking a break from work and being distracted by social events or family occasions.
If it does, then it’s easy to pretend it all wasn’t real when the new year is bestowed upon us and we slide back into work, familiar routines, obligations and habits.
The holiday period is usually restorative, so it can be hard for many to hang on to their crystal clear focus of what they’d like to change, how uncomfortable staying the same is and to remain inspired to follow through.
TIP: This isn’t a wrongness of you, it’s human. Instead of judging you for failing before you are out of the starting blocks, stop, pause and take a deeper look at your real motivations.
- What lies behind that burning wish, desire or goal that is waiting for you to fulfil it?
- If you achieved it who would you be?
- How would you feel about yourself?
- Is there another way of achieving that same feeling?
- How would achieving it benefit you?
- How would that free you up to evolve next?
- What is preventing your from accomplishing this and more?
- How is that preventing factor keeping you safe or benefitting you?
- If you gave yourself permission to start today, what would that look like?
- How would the people around you respond?
- How does that make you feel?
- If you didn’t care what others thought and you were brand new here on planet earth as of right now and not dragging your past around with you, what would you choose?
2. OVERWHELMENT CITY
I’ve been here many times. What’s good about it is you desire change, but you feel paralysed by that same change and that isn’t cool.
You feel like you’re sitting spinning your wheels with no idea what or who to chose. The things you have tried so far haven’t been the right answer, or in the right combination, so how would you know if you fell over the solution? Instead, you reach for the next spin class, walk with a friend, glass of red, meditation group or anything else to stay busy and call it good.
Meanwhile deep inside, that feeling of self defeat, unexpressed joy, frustration and irritation and separation from who you really are sits and grows. Feel familiar?
Maybe that thing you are searching for will show up right in your face, but what if it doesn’t? It’s actually exhausting pushing down urges from our soul and disacknowledging our potential along with the incumbent emotions.
TIP: If what you’ve been doing isn’t working, choose something else.
Keep moving, uncovering new information, asking questions…
Be persistent, ask life to support you in your quest to find your right set of answers. Never quit or give up, or resign yourself to mediocre, average, ‘real’ and ‘the same’ as everybody else. You aren’t, so don’t pretend that you are.
Your answers may lie in the place that you least desire to look and the thing you judge the most. We tend to ‘react’ to the things that we will ironically end up doing either several or many years later.
If you keep judging or avoiding something or someone, there’s something they have that you aren’t willing to choose for you and it likely pisses you off.
3. YOU FEAR CHANGE, THE WORK OF CHANGE & NOT KNOWING THE OUTCOME NOW
We live in an instant gratification culture. We are by and large disconnected from our wisdom, lacking mentors and we are used to doing whatever we want, when we want without struggle, effort, persistance or getting uncomfortable.
We are all a product of our environment, but we don’t have to be. Look around you, the smartest people know this and they make good choices and excel anyway. Stop being like others and commit to what you know is possible for you.
There is no other way as much as we would like to wish things away, life and the human experience is set up the way it is.
TIP: What if instead of fearing change, choosing it would allow you to connect with your inner knowing, unravelling your deepest purpose and what is available beyond what you have considered?
With good tools, skills and support, you can achieve what looks and feels incredible to you and looks like magic to others. Not only can the journey be much easier than our fears anticipate, you may find that you surpass your own expectations and enjoy on the journey!!
(Transformation does take work but every time we get a breakthrough or success, we tend to feel incredible and yes there are lots of uncomfortable bits as well).
4. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU AND YOU DOUBT YOURSELF
If you can dream it, it’s available to you. Dreams are soul downloads of something you could choose, if you are willing to believe, commit to it and yourself and dare to do something different.
Maybe you are more of a leader and innovator than you realize, but you’ve been sitting back, looking to your peer group for cues and clues and feeling frustrated because what you really know is possible isn’t dropping into your world.
TIP: You’ll never know if you don’t choose. Your dreams will only eventuate if you create them. Sitting around bored and filling in time just sucks. Fortune favours the brave.
5. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY, SO YOU CHOOSE NOTHING
Time will pass whether you do something with it or not. So, best choose something, move in any direction and allow opportunities to create for you. You can change course at any time. You may also discover what you were taught to think about, what you have tried so far, or who you thought you wanted to be isn’t true for you now.
TIP: While we are going forwards, we have momentum. Sitting still is in my opinion one of the most painful experiences there is and pretty soon that rut can feel like a mammoth pit of despair.
Now more than ever with COVID snapping at our heels, we are being encouraged to create our own life experience, decide on our own values and make the most of what we have. It’s okay to be extremely appreciative and creating more all at once.
I can help you clarify your NYs intentions, crystalize them into a plan and help you change the things preventing you from making your future as wonderful as it could be.