OWN YOUR PAIN, IT IS HERE TO TRANSFORM YOU
“If it is to be, it’s up to me” – William Johnsen
I had one of the worst possible starts emotionally, in my life and it didn’t strike me until I was in my teens and then 20s what had happened and at that age I still didn’t understand. I had so much stuff to deal with, I was immobilized for a long time. I was depressed, anxious and angry and sad. I went through a long blaming phase before I could get past that.
There came a point later on where I told myself “If you are such a victim and are as awesome as you think you are then, YOU DO something to show that”. “Overcome what you have been through, to create the life that YOU desire”. And over time, that’s what I did.
It was difficult getting to the point where I saw (regardless of the rights and wrongs of it), this is what I was dealing with and no matter how unjust that seemed, how life works is that we steer the ship as adults, regardless of what happened to us when we were young
TIP: It doesn’t matter how you got to today, what matters is what YOU DO, from here on out. Those people who hurt you before you knew how to handle their behavior, aren’t responsible for living the rest of your life, you are. You have the legacy you have and that can be a motivating factor in creating success!
2. BELIEVE IT CAN BE CHANGED!!!!
I have all my life believed in changing/healing anything I am not happy with, either within myself or a part of my life. I experienced the effects of neuroplasticity, setting goals and achieving them and changing things (mainly) through my own will power, from very young.
Even when I was older and felt stuck and traumatized, I didn’t give up searching for my answers and my freedom.
You can heal what hurts becoming wise in the pocess. Your beliefs are optional and you can change them and adopt your own, more positive and uplifting beliefs.
TIP: What you think is a function of your beliefs, how you feel is a function of what you think, and what you feel and think determines your actions, your self-worth and what you can receive and the types of experiences, opportunities and people that show up in your life.
All of that is up to you and can be changed.
3. START EXAMINING WHERE YOUR BELIEFS MAKE YOUR LIFE HARD AND EASY
“Your point of view creates your reality, your reality doesn’t create your point of view” – Gary Douglas
Some of us have never actually questioned our beliefs, however, we may be aware we think negatively sometimes.
“A belief is just a thought you keep thinking” Abraham Hicks
I like to think of our beliefs as the software we are running. It’s important to understand that to change your software, you need to wipe the old software, before you put a new software program in place.
In order to deactivate old thought programs and processes, we must either destroy or atrophy old neural pathways. Destroying can be done rapidly, through something like Access Bars, or more slowly via identifying them and consciously ignoring them. Both cause the electrical circuitry around those thoughts to dissipate.
Identifying and changing troublesome beliefs is not an easy thing to do alone and you may wish to have some sessions with someone, to assist with this process.
4. STOP LETTING ‘CIRCUMSTANCES’ DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE
I have achieved far more in my life time than someone from my emotionally chaotic background ever should have. I’m glad I stayed the course, because not only is my life different, but I know what is possible in terms of healing and change and what’s required to effect that.
As a result of changing the toxic beliefs I used to hold and healing much of my traumas and hurts, I know I am supposed to be here. I know that life is supposed to be an awesome experience.
TIP: Circumstances are external things only and are temporary. They are a START LINE in life, not the FINISH LINE. Circumstances don’t DEFINE you. Where you START in life, doesn’t determine where you END UP.
Everyone has set backs and challenges, it’s how we deal with those that is the critical factor in determining our future.
5. STOP REACTING TO LIFE, DETERMINE WHO YOU WANT TO BE AND BECOME THAT PERSON
“Peace of mind is not a problem free life, peace of mind is possessing the skills to handle any problem”- unknown
I still remember when I realized that I could learn to reframe challenges as prompts to outcreate the old version of me. Although I always knew things could be changed, it took me a while to understand HOW to change them.
Something shifted in my world and I got excited as I began to understand once I could use challenges as opportunities, I would be free. Not free from challenges, but free to respond powerfully and move through the world with confidence and more ease.
TIP: The radical thing is, once you have developed this skill set, you don’t respond from fear and you trust life and trust yourself to deal with things. This inner relaxation actually allows us to be less anxious and more effective where it counts most.
The more you apply problem solving and exploring how you can grow and what each thing has taught you, you stop becoming a victim and you start developing self mastery. This is a muscle we build like any other and if I can do this, anyone can.
6. UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS SIGNAL WE ARE OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH OUR TRUE SELF AND HAVE UNHELPFUL BELIEFS
If something is painful, it’s not right for you and you are being prompted to change. We may be prompted to shift how we are seeing something, or the thing itself.
TIP: When we are comfortable, unless we are extraordinarily disciplined and self aware, we don’t grow.
Embrace your pain, dive into it and explore it. It is a minefield of information. This is counterintuitive and takes courage. On the other side of embracing pain, lies freedom.