An Inner Wisdom and Potentiality coach, speaker and facilitator of change living in Nelson, New Zealand. I love helping empaths find their answers and transform their lives, using a variety of different tools and techniques.
Here’s a bit about my journey and how I’ve come to have something of value to offer you…
My story began in a not so emotionally easy place. Although I’ve now healed much, integrated tonnes of change and assimilated life times of experience into a few decades of living, it wasn’t an easy path to survive my younger years. To get to here, I’ve developed resilience and a broad and deep level of knowledge and sense of knowing, that is of benefit to those I serve.
I grew up in a dysfunctional household, was severely bullied and lacked role models and support growing up. That was sewing the seeds for a multiplicity of anxiety disorders that would plague me for years. I developed glandular fever, that later morphed into CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I had a sense of shame and deep wounds, that would lead me towards a series of toxic and codependent relationships.
To cope and distract myself from my pain, I developed eating disorders and experimented with self medication. I tried alcohol, pain killers and other substances too. What those things gave me was the awareness it was possible to feel relaxed and free from anxiety, physical and emotional pain. Instead of destroy me, these experiences motivated me. I knew these states could be and needed to be created naturally.
Through all the turbulence I kept trying to develop and grow, I frequently put myself in situations I didn’t have the skills to handle. Often with excrutiatingly painful results. I DEFINITELY DON’T recommend this strategy of “feel the fear and do it anyway” without adequate support or skills. (Even with a strong desire to succeed), as it can have devastating consequences. Directly resisting pain and fear that is there for legitimate reasons, isn’t a wise use of courage.
The emotions I experienced overwhelmingly through my 20s and 30s were separation, disconnection, dis-empowerment and stuck-ness. Along with my physical health issues and anxiety, I was often deeply depressed and frustrated. Nonetheless, somehow, I continued to learn, try different jobs, attend courses and to attempt to succeed, against the odds.
To my way of thinking, existing for the rest of my life sick, miserable, depressed and anxious, was an unthinkable outcome. I couldn’t handle the idea of living a small life, dying one day at a time, fearful and stuck, with my magic still in me. Instead, I believed I could get past what had happened to me, learn to like myself and become fulfilled and happy. I just didn’t know how.
SUICIDE, LACK OF SUPPORT AND DIGGING DEEP
Since childhood I’ve read around psychology, philosophy and spirituality. I was aware of mental health issues years before it was even acknowledged. I witnessed much suffering around me, both in terms of what the traditional system has to offer for healing trauma, (nothing) and with people choosing to live lives of quiet desperation, often due to lack of help or lousy help.
I would feel desperate and close to suicide, many, many times between 14 and 40. I was unable to feel at ease in my own skin, and I couldn’t receive from others, even when support was available. Nor could I develop my talents or accomplish anything meaningful, as I was survival based. This made me very sad, however, I wasn’t giving up!!!
I tried many things to improve my health and to master my own state. These included therapy, counselling, CBT, stress management, co-dependency treatment and assertiveness training. I tried many health modalities, such as chelation therapy, vitamin C mega dosing, hair mineral analysis, homeopathy, naturopathy, accupuncture, religion, yoga, self help books and meditation.
None of these things would unlock me from the shackles of my past. This was actually a good thing, as I would later come across tools that were at the cutting edge of human development, that would surpass and super-cede what any of these approaches could have offered, particularly in terms of trauma removal.
A QUEST FOR KNOWLEDGE
I developed a thirst for understanding, that I sensed would allow me to transcend my difficulties. I wanted to unlock what would give me peace and bring the opportunities, wellness and happiness I craved. I had no clue back then or even for years afterwards, but apparently I chose a very big mission for this life time…
“To create a better planet by empowering one person at a time to find freedom and success through self mastery and awareness”.
I now know, I was being broken open enough to get the learning I needed, to be worthy of that. I had to be halted enough to become self aware, to heal and to uncover my true calling and purpose. I couldn’t be of value as a coach and I wouldn’t have the abilities I have now for unlocking others, if I hadn’t been through everything that I have, the prolonged pain and suffering and the search for answers.
I had begun to piece together a broad and deep understanding of many aspects of life and well-being, that meant other people were coming to me for advice. My suffering led to me developing a strong sense of compassion, kindness and intuition, that would pave the way for me to hold space for others.
I acquired a degree in business and had one job I really loved – working with youth and long term unemployed, but with that completed, my governmental contract work based in Australia was decidedly unsatisfying. In a new relationship with a US citizen, I moved there to make a fresh start. When that ran it’s course after 8 months, I returned to NZ to start again.
Despite my ‘achievements’ I still felt like hell inside and I knew that my past was driving my thoughts and behavior. Despite all the learning I had done, I was carrying my past trauma in the cells in my body. It was lodged in my muscle memory, cellular memory, neural pathways and energy field. I had to do something radically different.
It was time to find a real and compelling purpose, change my thoughts and way of coping with life. I had to re-wire my nervous system and anxiety, improve my health, gain weight and earn money in a way that meant something to me. This wasn’t a dip my toe in the water to see how it felt situation. I had to be “all in”. I knew the alternative was death and I was being forced to choose a new way forwards.
Despite my determined nature, I know what it’s like to experience massive resistance and fear. I didn’t know who I’d become, how to get there or what the end results would be. That is terrifying, even when you know that the alternative is no alternative.
MY CURRENT PATH – REDEMPTION, HEALING AND A NEW PROFESSION
Since I was changing everything, I took a leap of faith and enrolled in life coaching training. Shortly after I discovered a body of work and system of pragmatic tools known as Access Consciousness.
After years of looking, I knew in an instant, that I’d found the thing that would free me. Access not only taught me about changing energy (the very currency of life), it offered many trauma removal body processes and pragmatic tools for living a modern life, based in ancient wisdom.
I was buoyant that I’d found the tools to facilitate finding me again and to have a shot at life with. Although, my progress was remarkably rapid in many ways, it was slow going assimilating the changes and integrating them. (the real work of personal transformation). Sometimes it was difficult knowing where to next, as each layer peeled away to reveal more trauma, gaps in my knowledge, ingrained crap and coping mechanisms that didn’t serve me.
I was learning how to undo all of my old programming, whilst simultaneously creating life the way I wanted it to be. In some ways we don’t know how to be different. We have to do our best to undo our hurts and trust our efforts are leading us to where we want to be. Trauma recovery is slow, especially when overlaid with poor health, doubts, fears, setbacks and struggles.
Recovery was all about doing the daily work of inner change. Releasing emotions and beliefs, holding myself accountable, taking risks, managing expansion and reinforcing shifts and new habits. I was working with all the tools at my disposal, until they became part of me. There were also highs, breakthroughs, excitements, glimmers of better times ahead, progress, opportunities and moments of joy.
I was also learning to run my business and undertaking lots of training. Although early days, people were seeking out my services and I was better able to help them than myself to begin with. I desired to become an extraordinary coach and facilitator because the people that I paid for private sessions, who helped me get free, were incredible and the world needs more of them.
I knew if I kept going and did the work, no matter how hard it seemed, I would eventually be liberated from the legacy of my early years. I believed my health and anxiety would heal, even though I didn’t know when or what that would be like. It is a perversely strange yet oddly rewarding experience adapting to being free of our problems! I also desired to become successful, confident, dynamic, supported, happy, energized and abundant.
A COACH IS MADE
That’s exactly what has happened. Disciplined, consistent action, combined with the correct tools made the difference for me. My ‘wheelhouse’ lay in combining body processes and feedback with modern psychology and high performance principles, Universal Laws, Metaphysics and pragmatic modern techniques for addressing life, steeped in ancient wisdom
I make my client’s transformational path easier in a way that mine wasn’t. I offer a one stop shop, where people can create massive change in an effective, safe and multi-dynamic way. I walk them through their blind spots, guiding them to release their past. I teach empowering skills and tools, so they can discover their potency and the ease of life. We reframe their past and I show them their untapped capacities and potential- often disguised as weaknesses.
I am a natural facilitator and as I experienced my clients getting free of their past with incredible effectiveness, I began developing my own methods, confidence and content. The more I mastered my own inner world and what is true for me, the more my talents for facilitation, teaching, coaching and leadership have emerged.
I’ve continued to train and to develop my expertise. I’ve conducted hundreds of private sessions and many classes, to assist others to create dynamic, permanent and profound change in their lives.
Join me on social media and share the journey!