So how do you enact heal when you’ve been badly hurt and what’s required to turn your pain into empowerment and progress?
1. Learn where you were and weren’t in your awareness
This isn’t to blame, it is to empower you to a different possibility.
If there are things you don’t know, this is an opportunity to become wiser and take a learning curve to being a more informed and perceptive you.
For example; I had a past relationship where I was narcissistically abused.
My recovery involved:
Learning about toxic narcissism, why empaths are attracted to narcissists and what creates a narcissist. Also:
What was inside me and from my upbringing that left me pre-disposed to engaging romantically with narcissists. Where I was susceptible to missing red flags, how to spot them and set appropriate boundaries.
I was unaware of those traits in other areas of life, and began to see the different permutations and presentations that toxic narcissism can have.
This learning empowered me to understand myself, the world around me and where other people function from. I’ve since come to understand this phenomena on a broader and deeper spiritual and societal level.
2. Take care of your physiology as part of healing
Our bodies house all the pain that we go through and everything we experience that is traumatic is stored in our muscle memory, cellular memory, neural pathways and energy field.
Giving relief to the body is such an important but little understood area of healing and letting go. When we have biochemistry firing off with things like PTSD, the body needs help to reset itself.
Doing the emotional and spiritual development is part of the puzzle and receiving whatever type of healing works for your body is another important part.
Access bars in particular are proven to be good for changing trauma.
3. Be brave and explore the purpose behind the pain
For most things, when we are being pushed to grow, life gives us a number of gentle opportunities to change and warnings which seem to intensify over time if we ignore them.
When events and challenges arising seem sudden, those are soul challenges playing out for the purpose of our evolution. I have been studying soul pre birth planning and that has become an area of fascination for me.
We choose our major challenges for each life time ahead of incarnating. Each incarnation has a purpose, and several themes and areas for growth. When we learn to explain our difficulties in light of what the soul was choosing for our highest evolution, events stop seeming random, pointless and unfair.
This doesn’t mean the pain is any less, however we can progress through it with more ease and the understanding we need to get the learn we require.
Whilst Psychology offers valuable insights into specific behaviors and relationships, spirituality empowers on a soul level, ultimately allowing us to become freer.
4. Learn any tools which may have empowered you to handle that situation effectively
Knowledge is power
Knowledge applied well is wisdom.
Tools that allow us to practically apply wisdom, empower us.
Once empowered (connected with our own power), we feel safe.
When we are safe, we can thrive
As we thrive, we get happy and can forgive if necessary.
5. Get Grateful
It is possible to do enough work that we are grateful for our most painful experiences and for those that we created them with. I also believe it is possible to do many life times of healing and ascension in one life time.
We step up and evolve when we are ready to do so and sometimes that path can be quite dramatic. Ascension is a word that describes that sort of trajectory in terms of growth and awareness.
Often the people with the biggest contribution to make are given the toughest path as preparation. Souls don’t have a point of view about suffering, pain, trauma and difficulty, only our human selves do.
It’s only our conditioned human selves that long for an easy life, quick success, loads of fun, money, fame, beauty and whatever else we are seeking. We cannot control what shows up in our life, once we are here.
It’s who we become in the process of dealing with our challenges that is where we have free will and the ability to transcend and thrive.