1.MANAGE YOUR OWN STATE SO YOU ARE PURPOSEFUL AND IN FLOW
Prevention is better than cure.
Avoid stressful situations and people in advance, by being in a high vibe state and not being receptive to them.
When I am clear, fulfilled, happy and on point, if negative things come my way, they just slide off again.
When I am confident in my purpose, focused on my work and following my own trajectory, I am buoyant and robust.
I just don’t have time for gossip, negativity or difficult people when I’m busy and engaged in my work.
2. RELEASE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL FRUSTRATION AND UPSET
Let out your negative energies at the gym or with a good workout.
That way you aren’t holding onto stuff or allowing it to build up and influence you. You are benefiting from endorphins and keeping your mood ebullient and your physiology resilient.
Eliminate negative mental upset through writing it out. I used to write things down and burn the paper, send it to a ‘fuck-it’ email address you can set up, or run things past a trusted confident for a bit more clarity. If unhelpful beliefs arise during any of that, I will do some deeper work to process and change those for my own improvement.
This belief work is key to being less triggerable in future and to your continued growth.
3. HAVE REGULAR BODY WORK TO RELEASE UNHELPFUL THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AND OLD STORED TRIGGERS & PATHWAYS
We ignore the mind/body connection to our detriment.
Everything we’ve been through gets stuck and stored in the body and keeps us locked in a particular vibration, reacting from old scripts, long after we have stopped thinking about something.
Access Bars is brilliant for clearing out whatever we don’t need any longer.
It works to dismantle unhelpful thought forms and clean out your ‘hard drive’. (Similar to defragging a computer). It prevents thoughts from atrophying into the neural pathways, muscle memory, cellular memory and energy field and releases anything already stuck.
Neuroscientist Jeffrey Fannin studied the Bars and found that one session can put someone in a brainwave state equivalent to someone who has studied mediation for 20 years. It’s hard to be cranky and hold onto things from that state.
For you, your method might meditation, yoga, pilates, contact dance, or something else.
4. MAKE A DECISION TO NOT LET THINGS AFFECT YOU AND BECOME EDUCATED AND EMPOWERED
Can you remember a time when someone you know did something dreadful and you just didn’t let it affect you? We can do that all the time, with everything.
For many reasons, there are now more toxic people on earth than ever before. These people are divorced from their higher self and their inner balance. They will aim to take energy from others to top up what they are unwilling to address, that is making them feel awful inside.
Dealing with these folks is often confusing because of their behavior. Energetically we know something is wrong, but not always how to handle them. Getting drawn in on this level, when we are out of our depth and dis-empowered, is depleting and debilitating.
I teach my clients to work with energy flows to good effect, to change the dynamic of a situation in conjunction with increasing their awareness and using sound psychological strategies. Energy flows work well when nothing else does and can be incredibly empowering.
Knowledge well applied is power. You owe it to yourself to develop some understanding of human dynamics. To learn what is beneath the surface of things that challenge and confound you and to find solutions to manage these effectively. If you do, your confidence and self-esteem will increase, you will develop wisdom and experience, that means you don’t hang onto things.
We only hang when things make us feel crazy, trapped, traumatized or afraid to go forwards. If we are empowered, we can let all of life flow around us, trusting ourselves, because we have done the inner work.
5. BE CONSCIOUS OF WHO OTHERS REALLY ARE AND BE KIND
Consciousness is being aware that people are always going to be true to who they are, what they know and what works for them in the world.
We can be kind to others, without approving of their choices. That way we don’t get caught up in things, nor in reacting to them.
‘Blind faith’ is where we assume people have characteristics more positive than they do, that they have beliefs similar to us, or that they are someone who they aren’t, because we’ve decided we like them.
For example, you might have a friend who is lazy, manipulative and sociopathic, but incredibly fun and talented. Because you see people in their best light, you can see all the possibilities for that person, but actually what works for them is being lazy and manipulating others with a learned helplessness.
Know that person is going to continue to function that way. They are not wrong, they are just doing what they know and that is who they are for now. By being aware, you can’t be harmed by their negative aspects.
6. REFLECT ON YOUR AWARENESS WITHOUT JUDGMENT OR CONCLUSION
When we go into judgment or conclusion about something, we mess us up, not the person we are judging. Once we make something or someone wrong, we feel uncomfortable around it/them and we can no longer see the good in them either.
We are taught in our culture in order to stay safe from people who are doing bad or wrong, we need to judge them as being separate and different from us.
We can just be aware who they are and what they get up to, without thinking too much about it.
It is a conscious choice to allow. We don’t know the reasons they are that way and when they are ready, they might get it and change.
7. CHOOSE PEACE AND HARMONY OVER INSISTING ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW
“Never argue with a fool. He will pull you down to his level and beat you with experience” Mark Twain
It’s been big for me to acknowledge when I believe someone is wrong and to leave it well alone.
No one who is insane or acting badly, ever said, “You’re right, how silly of me, let me make amends and address that immediately” because someone took them to task.
When we confront, people defend, then argue and no one wins.
For others to change, they need to get sick of themselves and then look around them for different possibilities and ways of being and doing things.
If we are sensitive, arguing the rightness of our point of view can be damaging, as we feel when something is off and we don’t like confrontation or receiving hostile emotion.
Self-actualized folks who have healed and become a bit more circumspect, allow others to be where they are at, whilst staying open to the fact that change is always possible, although they don’t expect it.
Letting go of Everything
Is as easy as staying happy, being aware of where others are at, clearing out old and recent things from the neural pathways and body to release negative emotion. In addition, we require good strategies and awareness for dealing with others, not judging them and being in allowance of where they are at.