1.If a person or situation isn’t working for you, love it or them and all will be well
People who are lost and hurting are going to find it difficult to be in a vibration of love, so even if this advice did work, (which it doesn’t), it is ill advised for those whom it is intended to help.
If someone is already conscious, highly aware and kind, this advice is equally unhelpful. These people already love, even when it is difficult or challenging. Throwing a guilt trip of ‘You’re not loving enough’ on top of someones issues is counterproductive.
People are looking for real skills to manage their lives, set boundaries and feel empowered. They may require pragmatic tools to deal with their sensitivity and connect them with their strength, or an understanding of psychology and why they have certain patterns or blocks.
TIP: You cannot love problems away, but you can be loving whilst dealing with them. You can also ask for love to flow to you when things are challenging. Read my blog about self love here
2 .If someone hurt you, you need to forgive them so you can heal
My belief is as follows: If someone hurt you, you need to heal you so you can forgive. Forgiveness is great, However, if you make your recovery about the other person and what they did, you dis-empower yourself. Read more about this here.
People can’t forgive when deeply hurt and wounded. That is vibrationally and emotionally impossible, so telling someone in this state to forgive, can make them feel like they are wrong and prevent them getting past what happened – sometimes for years.
TIP: Instead of forgiving, use your pain and hurt to transform and heal yourself on the deepest level. Be open and brave and get help if you need to. When true responsibility and healing occurs, forgiveness is a natural by-product and doesn’t need addressing.
Please note: I am not saying don’t have compassion for all beings or (including those who may have hurt us), I am saying, don’t sacrifice your healing in the name of pursuing unattainable ‘forgiveness’.
3. If you are nice to everybody that is what you will get back and life will be good
Many spiritually inclined people are gentle, empathetic and prefer to avoid people with harsh energies. One way of sifting out people is to be nice and look for other nice people.
From a Law of Attraction perspective, this is logical and seems like a great idea. Do good, be kind and draw others to you with a similar frequency.
That works really well until it doesn’t and it’s often ‘nice’, empathetic people that struggle the most when dealing with toxic or difficult people. They may be unaware, have not done the work of dealing with shadow and struggle to hold their own center, becoming vulnerable in certain situations.
It’s good to have a default setting of love, kindness and caring. It is important to be discerning about when and how to apply this. Toxic folks see kindness as weakness and will make you wrong and take advantage of it.
When we are aware, we know what energy or behavior is required in a situation or with another person and we are willing to be that energy or set that boundary, even if it means being ‘not nice’. We are also able to see where niceness may be a behavior of someone who is a sweet soul, but is emotionally unhealthy for us.
You will encounter karmic or soul contract connections with others which can be destructive and painful, even if you are ‘nice’. You may want to clear these contracts, or go forwards anyway, but don’t believe that everyone you meet is nice because you are and holds similar values to you.
TIP: Learn to be in your awareness no matter who you are dealing with. Always hold a frequency of love, but decide where to contribute to others and who to be involved with.
Don’t assume someone nice is healthy and don’t assume if you are a good, caring, kind person that you will never have painful or difficult encounters or soul contracts to process or honor.
Connect with your capacities, learn to work with all energies and be as potent as life sometimes requires us to be. It’s not wrong to be effective in your life and it doesn’t make you not ‘nice’
4. Having Money Makes you a bad, un-spiritual person
You don’t have to prove your spiritual authenticity and distain for the institutionalized corruption that surrounds us by being broke.
Money allows you to change things. With moolah you can travel, spread your purpose, meet more people and serve humanity. It contributes ease in all that you do and facilitates you to focus on your gifts. It gives you the power with which to create outside of the existing system and influence others
What do politicians fear more, broke, hippie healers, or empowered, educated, connected people with spiritual gifts who are nailing life and helping others to do the same?
Your divine birthright is abundance and you chose to incarnate into this reality where money is the means of exchange. Money is an energy and if you are a healer, you can be good with money. You deserve to be taken care of and to receive from life. If you can’t receive, there is something there you need to take a look at.
TIP: Life wants to support you in living out your purpose effectively. Be willing to receive financial abundance and you can be the highest version of you.
With money you can assist others where you chose to and empower and be empowered. Money isn’t evil, it is just a means for exchange and as an light worker or spiritual person, you should receive a fair exchange for the work that you do.